I stare with unseeing eyes, into the faces on the picture I have come to cherish. I stare, vacant of feelings of people of places. I stare into the dark abyss that is now my life.
I stare and stare. There is no way out now. No going back.
I stare into the darkness as it engulfs me,
And I let it take over, because i do not know what else to do.
The only thing I know,
the one thing that I keep with me,
is the love that I harboured for him.
And the pain of knowing,
Knowing that he will never understand; never be mine.

The world I’m in, is completely different. There is no way out now, can’t take it back now...

All I can think, is that I deserve this fate this abyss of total darkness
The pain the anger the fear–all are known to me, and they now welcome me back with open arms.
Is this really what I’ve done?
Is this really what I’ve gone back to?

Is that what I’ve become?
The Broken Angel of my haunted sleeps?
The twisted knife wrenching in my flesh?
The fires are burning in my eyes
the pain is not enough; it’s never enough

The disappointment
The anger
The hatred
The fear
The pain

the girl walks alone
oblivious of all around her
the pain of the world she’s in
she cannot share
the fear of that man
is everywhere – he is everywhere she is
the pain and the anger
won’t leave her –they have become her best friends
the bitter disappointment
the hatred
it is everywhere;
it is nowhere

it is
her.

I am that story; the tale forgotten, hidden within the secrets and lies at the back of your mind. Waiting. Waiting patiently, ever so patiently, for you to make the mistake that lets me into your life; for you to slip up enough that I can squeeze through that gap and help you on your way to the dark abyss that has captured me. To help you become my friend within this dark, always dark prison.


(U) (W) My tear stained face gazes into the mirror
but what stares back, is not me
it’s what i’ve become-
it’s my new self-
you could say.
a new person…
my new identity… (U) (W)